18 April 99
I just spent the day doing nothing but thinking about how the small group of people I have spent my life with for the last year or two–who I consider my best friends and whose opinions I value–probably wouldn’t mind so much if I never spent any time with them again. If I suddenly moved away for any reason, they wouldn’t notice. My best friends say they care about me and understand that I made a mistake and never intended to hurt anybody. They want to spend time with me again, but just not in a social setting. If I walk to Publix and wind up behind them in the check-out line, maybe then they would spend time with me. They’d ignore me and look at each other with awkward glances. But at least it’d be quality time for me. Yeah, right. If you hate me, tell me. Then at least I wouldn’t have to decide if it would offend you if I got you a birthday present.
If you think you had a bad night, just think about me and how much better your night was. You didn’t make a simple mistake in your relationship and cause the people you hold dear to your heart to forget you exist.