i’ve stopped counting

Just if you were wondering, all of the material on this website is (c) copyright ME unless it isn’t. If you’re not sure, ask! Copyright copyright copyright me me me me me.

potatos.
hot potatos.

Copyright 2000, 2001, 200-infinity and beyond!

I was wondering why I am called ‘Caucasian’. Britannica online has no record of a country or region called ‘Caucasia’, but it has stuff on the Caucasus, which say I am from Azerbaijan or southwest Russian or the Georgia that isn’t in the U.S. (Interesting sidenote: It says Caucasians only speak Armenian, Ossetic, Talysh, Kurdish, Tat, Azerbaijani, Kumyk, Noghay, Karachay, and Balkar — where’s English in that list?) I tried to find out why white people (pardon me, ‘those of European descent’) are called Caucasians by asking Jeeves ‘why are white people called caucasians?’. He suggested sites to help me paint my house and crap like that. Apparently Jeeves doesn’t understand things that aren’t completely politically correct. So I went to the other end of the spectrum and searched usenet at dejanews. I found stuff like ‘[expletive deleted] white folks got [expletive deleted]’ and ‘black folks [expletive deleted]’, which wasn’t much help.

So I gave up. I figure the people who call me Caucasian are the same people who decided the department of the interior has power over everything that’s outside.

Avast, ye matey! Arr! Wherefore art thou not adding to the bleedin’ story page? You’ll find the link to the right.

…assuming you can find it… arr

moron non-pirate.

Arr!

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!

I need a name for the workorder system I’m making at work, but I can’t figure out anything that’s worth using, so I’m turning this into some sort of contest. The name needs to fit the following criteria:

• It needs to be an acronym. (N.A.T.O. is an acronym)
• The acronym itself has to be professional. (It can’t be E.A.T.P.O.O.P. or anything)
• The words that make up the acronym can be (and bonus points if they are) non-professional, childish, offensive, funny, etc.
• The acronym must spell something or almost spell something.
• The acronym must be a reasonable length — don’t acronym-ize the preamble.
• The acronym must stand for 2 things - the real thing and something I tell people around the office it stands for.

The winning acronym will be used by around a hundred people on a semi-regular basis. If it’s funny enough, it’ll greatly improve my mood around the office, so I’ll give the winner a cookie.

Send all submissions to [link removed]. Multiple entries welcome.