20 July 00
I was wondering why I am called ‘Caucasian’. Britannica online has no record of a country or region called ‘Caucasia’, but it has stuff on the Caucasus, which say I am from Azerbaijan or southwest Russian or the Georgia that isn’t in the U.S. (Interesting sidenote: It says Caucasians only speak Armenian, Ossetic, Talysh, Kurdish, Tat, Azerbaijani, Kumyk, Noghay, Karachay, and Balkar — where’s English in that list?) I tried to find out why white people (pardon me, ‘those of European descent’) are called Caucasians by asking Jeeves ‘why are white people called caucasians?’. He suggested sites to help me paint my house and crap like that. Apparently Jeeves doesn’t understand things that aren’t completely politically correct. So I went to the other end of the spectrum and searched usenet at dejanews. I found stuff like ‘[expletive deleted] white folks got [expletive deleted]’ and ‘black folks [expletive deleted]’, which wasn’t much help.
So I gave up. I figure the people who call me Caucasian are the same people who decided the department of the interior has power over everything that’s outside.