Somebody told me that I haven’t updated my webpage for a while. Going on a dozen or so days now. Update brainstorm: … falafel education … speakers … work … games … caffeine and starch … fall semester … attendance … idiots … sounds like enough there.
Falafel Education: I went to Falafel King with Chinese Eric the other day and had a ‘chicken sandwich’. It’s apparently named to lure in those darn ethnocentric Americans who only eat ‘merican. It was a very good gyro-type thing with sauce that merits a repeat visit. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. I meant to talk about the gumball vending machine at the restaurant. I’m sure you’ve seen those things – ten cents for two cents’ worth of candy and the proceeds benefit the starving people in the Marianis trench or whoever. This one (past tense)(benefits) the M.E.F. – National Education Foundation. I stared at that vending machine, reading it over and over as if I had to memorize the verse for Bible Study. M.E.F. – National Education Foundation. National Education Foundation. – M.E.F. Hmm … M.E.F. – Mational Education Foundation. I thought National started with an ‘N’. Smoke poured out of my ears, I drank some more coke, then we went comparison shopping for speakers.
Speakers: I am turning into Jordan more and more, and this is kind of scary. I work with the man (during the regular school year anyway), I recently bought and now habitually wear tan Jordan-esque shorts. I am a jeans guy, but I suppose I’m changing. And after some shopping around I determined the easiest, best, most economic worthwhile, whatever, speakers in town are the FPS-1000 cambridge soundworks surround sound speaker system. For those of you who know the circle of friends I live with, these are more commonly known as ‘Jordan speakers’. Having music play to all corners of your room evenly seems to encourage people to come in your room and talk. I put a lot of thought into this, and it turned out to be true. Peter and Ariel talked to me for likely more than a half hour in here, here usually being devoid of visitors. Oh yeah, in preparation for having good speakers, I downloaded 1600-1700 more mp- uh … [text] files. Pretty cool to have so many [text] files, that [text]-amp sometimes plays [text] files I’ve never heard before.
Work: My project at work is progressing well. I’m getting to the point where I wish I hadn’t programmed it at work, so I could let them use it at work, but I could also distribute the system code and promote more ‘boltmeyer is a php master’ stuff. I’d like to have a seat on the Cabinet. Eric: Director, Department of PHP and caffeine starch combustion.
Games: I’ve been playing Diablo II more than is likely good for my education. I think I like the ‘if you can target it, it is bad and deserves to be eliminated’ mentality. The game has slowly spread up the building. I’m roleplaying Aarec, the evil paladin. Why is he evil? Because he cheats. I’m not trying to hide it. I don’t use any character editors, but I have used the imbue command at least a hundred times. Whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack. A new hobby of mine is reading along with Deckard Cain, in a mocking old fart voice. “I’m really old.. use the Horadric something something, just kill everything you can find and loot the place. Have you seen my teeth?”
Caffeine and Starch: Somehow I have developed an insatiable appetite for any and all starch and caffeine products. I drink four or more cokes a day, and any sort of bagel or bread doesn’t normally last more than an hour in my presence. This fact leads me to believe I’m the lone survivor of a planet in another solar system — one with a red sun. But instead of getting super powers as I come closer to this yellow star, I crave caffeine and bread. Bread is yummy. Soda helps wash it down. The soda helps clear the way for more bread.
Fall Semester: I want the fall semester to start, [expletive]! I want to take the programming classes I’m signed up for. Hopefully they’ll be the sort of classes where I have an outlandish assignment, basically consisting of pouring all of my effort into making cool stuff happen. Those assignments are good, except in Operating Systems, which I’m taking now. Op Sys is more of a programming-blindfolded-how can this work-i think it compiled-no it didn’t-whoops now it’s irreparable-sort of programming class. Plus I want to start attending volleyball games again as ‘The screaming trumpet guy’. And football is also good.
Attendance: I don’t like [class name]. I think I’ll wait ’til the final to go again. What’s on Nick? Ah, spongebob squarepants. I think I’ll try to figure out what his arms are attached to. — This is what goes through my head every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I hope it wears off before next semester.
Idiots: This is just something I witnessed today that was so idiotic, it surpassed the ‘wow, that guy is stupid’ part of my brain to the part of my brain where nothing at all makes sense, and let’s hope that brain part doesn’t leak to anywhere else in my brain or else I’ll just go completely loopy. Runon sentence detected and ignored. Ding! What this guy did was see that he wasn’t allowed to drive down stadium road because of a big roadblock sign thing. He was in line to talk to the lady whose full-time job it is to say “No. Turn around.” Instead of finding a spot in the O-dome parking lot or anything sensible, he just turned his car off and turned on the “It’s okay everyone, I’m something dumber than a retard” lights. Then he got out and started on his merry way to turn in an assignment. His car was parked in the middle of the road. Heavily edited transcript follows:
Her: Hey, stop! What are you doing?
Him: I’m turning in my assignment! That’s what I’m supposed to do with assignments!
Her: What’s that thing in the road?
Him: What? That? The car?
Her: That’s your car, right?
Him: Duh, you saw me get out of it.
Her: You can’t park there.
Him: Well, I just did. Besides, you’re just a campus cop, and I’m a student. This ain’t cop school. This is student school.
Her [whips out shotgun]: BLAM!
Him [collapses into pieces]: …
Her [getting hit by lightning]: There can be only one!