i’ve stopped counting

Army of Darkness is being shown on Turner Classic Movies tonight.
This is important. This means something.

Why would anybody care about someone dating Fabio? I can’t understand that.

Wiki is a funny word. Wwwwwiki. Wiki. Wiki wiki wiki wikiwikiwikiwiki.

I started a new diet. Gatorade, Eggo Waffles, Graham Crackers, Peanut Butter, and soup.
This diet was further reduced to Eggo Waffles, Peanut Butter, and soup this evening.
One day I will need food and my diet will end as I return home with groceries.

I’m not so sure I like these random quip posts, but they at least lead to more people reading the whole thing.

Three reality tv shows in a row, and the chicks always pick the wrong guy. Is that a coincidence? Should I be surprised when the brain-dead uncaring guy invariably is picked because the girl ‘follows her heart’ even though she knows in advance it’s the wrong decision? Maybe there’s something to figure out regarding ‘following one’s heart’.

Citing my vast knowledge of the subject of relationships which I have obtained through thinking about girls while playing Tetris Attack and watching overproduced reality shows on Fox, I consider myself an expert on relationships.

There are often times when someone has to choose between following their heart and following their pants. Also, there are times when that same person chooses between following their brain and following their heart. I submit that the two categories of decision may actually be the same.

mind : heart :: heart : pants

In other words, ‘follow your heart’ may only be valid advice when used in a situation where the alternative is a ‘follow your pants’ sort of thing. But then this only really makes sense if the “mind : heart” thing also fits the situation.

To clarify,
“In the presence of two options A and B, given that the mind desires option A and the heart desires option B, further analysis may reveal that the heart desires option A if the pants desire option B. If that is the case, ‘Follow your heart’ is right out. Otherwise, follow your pants, i mean heart.”

In all seriousness, I think I have the perfect way to make these decisions. Any decisions. Flip a coin. If it winds up heads, choose option A. If it winds up tails, choose option B. When the coin is in flight, you’ll hope for one option or the other. Once that happens, simply fail to catch the coin.

I should write this down somewhere.

For some reason, I can’t tell the difference between Dolph Lundgren and Viggo Mortensen. Creepy.