29 June 04
I don’t understand what’s so complicated about it. Form the sentence, and cough it out. Somehow it makes sense when I’m sweeping my roof and about to plummet to several broken bones and an exhaustion nap. Add proper hydration and drop some altitude, and I’m back to where I was months ago. Maybe I could just take my cellphone with me the next time my roof is covered in leaves. On the topic of sweeping your roof, I have some good advice. Take the livable area of your house. Add the area of the walls that hold your house together. Divide by the cosine of the pitch of your roof. Divide by four square feet per sweep. Realize this is how many sweeping motions are required. Throw away your broom and ladder and pay someone to clean your roof.
Important economic news: In a shocking development to Floridians everywhere, the store in the Altamonte mall dedicated to selling all manner of broadswords, katanas, and Klingon weaponry has gone out of business. Additionally, its neighboring competition, the store that sold nothing but three kinds of cloth posters for Final Fantasy VIII, has also shut its doors. These are clearly Doomsday signs. If you own stock in any American company, I advise you to sell regardless of loss. Modern society is simply damned if Joe Average isn’t spending every weekend burying another bloodied Bat’Leth in a non-flattering shroud of Squall the Leonhart.